Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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