Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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