girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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