i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
