dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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