How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
