if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
