Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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