I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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