Nicole vs. Life
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
