Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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