Small penises have feelings too.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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