i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
