so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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