Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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