I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
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If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize