I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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