Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
