But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
