Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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