It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
