ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
