like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
