It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
