I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
