wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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