? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize