He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
