i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
