Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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