The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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