I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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