I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
