So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
