Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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