...so i touched it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
