dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
