Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
