Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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