every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
