Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
