if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
