Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
