Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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