oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
3pm strippers are depressing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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