break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
