Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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