Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
