I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This is the high leading the old right now
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
