the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize