one might say we're banned from that church
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
