Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
