you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
