how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
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You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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