i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
