Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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