It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
