Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You took a bar mat shot.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
