i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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