i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
