Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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