When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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